Taking Feedback

Dear Blog... It's been entirely too long since my last confession. I am here to make amends with a new post about how to take proper feedback and be respectful.

Sure, all of us at one time, and I'm speaking to writers specifically, have written that little nugget of joy that puts a smile on our face. We look at the clock, see it's 1:00AM and go to bed proud. We may even send it off to a critique partner, a friendly writer, or a spouse or sibling.

Desperately we are wondering if they love it too, and how it will fair in once our words hit their minds. If you're anything like me, you are hoping they'll gush, tell you that you're next in line for a Hugo and how wonderful you are.

If you're like me, when they tell you that they found a few mistakes, and that some of the word choices conflicted, or that they thought there needed to be a bigger build up, more description, or other little nitpicks, you have at least at one point wondered how they couldn't see how brilliant you were.

I mean, there were subtleties that wouldn't be apparent for 30 chapters, dialogue that had secret hidden meanings, and obscure words found 3 pages deep on thesaurus.com

One of the hardest parts of being a writer is learning how to take feedback. Sometimes, the reader is flat out wrong. Not everybody likes every genre, every style, POV, or any of the various things that set books apart. However, themes should be something to watch out for. If you are hearing the same thing over and over, it may mean that you need to check out your little darlings with a critical eye.

You are not married to a scene. Very few authors want to publish a line of dialogue. The story is important, and while you must stay true to it or it can cause you immeasurable grief in things like tears, lost sleep and stress, you need to look at the picture from a different perspective. Don't argue. This is the truth from their perspective. Thank them for the feedback.

I have false started my current novel at least five times, perhaps more. I am going on a pace of about 8000 words per week, and meeting or exceeding that goal every week if only by sheer will and the fact that through the thoughtful critique of my trusted friends, family and peers, I can now see things with a different set of eyes and find the things that are not working, or when I do miss them, find the way to listen to them and fix the problems without putting my own value on every word in my manuscript. 

The last thing I'll leave you with is this. When getting feedback from a loved one, don't be confrontational. Many times they are only trying to express themselves in ways that make sense to them. Take the pain with the love and make yourself a better writer as a result.

You call that a masterpiece?

Carpentry...
Yes, you read that right. I'm going to discuss carpentry.

So many of us who write look to our spouses as a form of writing support group. Writing is hard. No, it isn't usually "Where is my next meal coming from?" hard, but it is taxing at a deep level. So much of what we do is tied to us. We judge ourselves in our work. We throw ourselves into it with both feet.

Then, we make one of the biggest mistakes we can. We turn to our spouses and say "Honey, can you read this section I just wrote and tell me what you think?"

At least I do that. It sucks, and it's wrong.

Why? You ask.

It's wrong because we are like carpenters. We build things. They can be simple stories, or span galaxies, with new languages, different races, and space ships, or even finding a new way to retell a classic. In any case, we are creators.

Carpenters can look at a joist, or a stud, and immediately say "I'd have done that differently. Look, the nail head is crooked, and it's not square." Admit it. How many of you have read a book and looked at pages and gone on to think "That was awful. They messed that whole scene up. I could have done it better." I bet there are lots of us who do that. Sometimes, I get trapped in a story that is so compelling, I don't want to come out, but those other times, woo, I can't help but feel the story keeps bucking like when I first tried to learn to drive stick shift.

Carpenters are craftsmen and women like us. They see the pieces and how they fit. My wife is not a carpenter. She's not a writer, though she's an avid reader. When I put a piece of my writing in front of her, out of context, and slightly changed from the last time she saw it, she has no way of telling what it's supposed to do. She likes stories, not intangible pieces that come out of nowhere, as far as she's concerned. Like the average homeowner, she would rather see a completed room, or better, how the house looks when it is all put together.

So, in short, let our spouses be what they are and let's not try and change them. If they like to read, the way my wife does, we can't force them to be writers, or to look at thing with a writer's eye. They are no substitute for critique partners or beta readers. They are, however, crucial for that support that comes from someone who takes care you in other ways. Mine has brought me lunch at my computer, and taken on extra parenting duties to let me get my creative juices flowing, and it means so much when she does that. She can't see the subtle foreshadowing because it isn't foreshadowing anything that's not simply in my mind, or written twenty drafts ago. It's a jumbled mess, but she knows that I'm putting together something that's going to be great, and she tells me so when I am feeling like it's not coming out the way I'd like it to.

Like it or not, we need each other. We're a guild of like minds, off in different directions, but able to spot the things each other is doing, and the hows and the whys. We are much like carpenters. We craft stories, and like them, our work should be around a generation after we're gone -at least if we do it right.

The Last Page

All right, so maybe title is confusing. I'm not actually talking about the last page of the book, or whatever story you may be working on.

No, I am talking about the importance of the components of a story. Too often, people think that this great concept of theirs is the key to getting their story out there, and making them a recognized and well liked author. Sure, that can work, but it takes so much more.

Stories are not composed of concepts alone, or themes alone, or characters alone. Each part plays a role in making the story come together, find itself and be told in the best way. Writers have to do more than have a story to tell; they have to tell it in a novel and convincing way. The reader has to come along for the journey, and not be handed a fact sheet.

This brings me back to the title of this post. You can't have a concept as your only striking element or else you have an incomplete story. Just as nobody should (I'm looking at you now) read the last page first, or omit it altogether, nobody should have to wade through an incomplete story that has a great premise, but misses on the key elements of bringing the reader through the emotional journey of the main character or characters. That is just as important as the last page of the book, because without that, the story is not finished.

Other Authors

Communication with other authors is essential, in my opinion. Sure, there were days that you could sit at your desk, quill in hand, and write great stories by candle light. I'm sure there are still a select few who might do just that, but I think that to become a great writer, you need to get out there and talk to people, find out what they are doing, what they are reading, and how to make yourself a better writer.

Simply being a critiquing reader has made me better, both in being able to take criticism and give it, as well as somehow getting the superhuman ability to read at approximately five times faster than I had before, perhaps out of necessity.

Recently, a friend of mine got me started on Twitter, and I took to it exactly as she thought I might. I'm on there almost every day, reading what other people are talking about, whether it is how their cat smells, or about this awesome new scene they have just written, and that alone, the connection with people doing the same thing you are makes it stick.

You are not alone, sitting in a dark room, trying to come up with some scene in your head for your characters. You are sharing your talents, little by little, and doing the same things thousands of other people are, and trying to make the reading landscape a little better, one well placed comma at a time.

Rewrites Part 2

So, when last our heroes met, we discussed the necessity of rewriting things, for clarity and for making sure the story gets put into the mind of the reader.

Well, my story up and took a turn on me, and it came to me in big bright visions (all right, that's malarkey).

I've recently restarted my story, remembering that the important parts are getting across the story, and not getting hung up on reusing all the bits that you have made over the numerous rewrites in order to bolster word count.  I am reusing some, but being pretty sparse about it.

I cannot stress enough the importance of voice and perspective, because without those, the story will never come.  It will feel stifled, and flat, and there will be nothing to it, despite the grand visions of the dreamer.  It has taken me months to find my voice, and even now, I am not sure if it will stick, but I won't stop. 

There are dreams to give life to as stories.

On Rewrites

Rewrites:

They are the name of the game.  Stories don't spew forth from a pen or a keyboard simply because we have one to tell.  I'm not an artist.  I'm a storyteller.  I may start from nothing, but my canvas is ultimately not the printed page, but the imagination, and I can't touch the imagination.  I can only plant seeds of pictures and ideas.

Each time I write something, or rewrite it, I have a better way of planting that seed, and making it grow in the mind of the reader, but that that is what I mean about me not being an artist.  I cannot show you anything.  I have to make you picture it, and hope that my vision of what something feels like, smells like, or how someone would react fits into your interpretation of those events, or I have failed you, the reader.

Many books fail on that account.  Some people love the way the story unfolds, and others throw the book against the wall, wondering why everybody has to die (I'm looking at you, George R.R. Martin). 

So, when the vision in my head doesn't match the way the words are written, I have to figure out how to fix the problems and try again.  Every book you look at in the bookstore, or on Amazon, or in a friend's house started in a similar way.  Someone had an idea, and then they cultivated the idea, but the product was not an end, it was a seed.

Forming a story

I've been writing a lot lately.  It's actually been consuming a lot of my time, both in front of my computer and what I end up thinking about when I'm not there either.  I'll have an idea on my drive and grab my phone and start the recorder up.  What I really need is to get this thing finished, or at least send off a few more copies to readers for feedback.

I've listened to, or read, rather, a lot of authors who claim they do it for themselves, or they don't care about criticism, but that's not something I can detach from.  I've gotten better at not taking things on a personal level, or fighting for every word choice like it's golden, but it is still hard when you turn out hours of what you believe to be good thoughts and stories and get feedback you were not expecting.

On the converse, though, when you feel there are weaknesses in a passage or an area of your story, and a reader then comments that they related to that directly, and they know what the character is doing or feeling, you wonder if you are being too hard on yourself.

My desire is to put out a story.  The one I am currently working on is special to me, because I have had this story inside me and rattling around, growing, changing and evolving for over ten years.  It's a lot to put out there at once, since it came out unformed and raw.  Sometimes even the best plans for it change.  I recently had to scrap an entire chapter I had planned to include simply because there was no real way for me to add it once I had built up a significant portion of the back story. 

This has led me to the conclusion that writing is only partly how you build an idea, but a lot to do with how you can execute the idea, how you can continue to keep it fresh for over three hundred pages, and how you can build realistic characters who hold true to that image for the entire length of the book.  You discover things about the story and the characters as you have to make them stay part of this mold that they have been built from, and it can even surprise you, the author.  Realize, though.  If the last five hundred words you have written is crap.  It is crap.  Throw it away, because if you write for yourself, you deserve better, and if you write for your readers, they definitely deserve better.